Listening and Speaking

“Listening and speaking are the foundations of communication.”

Sharing ideas, feelings, and resources are all achieved via communication. No relationship is ever formed and sustained without communication. When it breaks down, misunderstandings and disagreements could immediately follow.

When listening, take note of bias. It could be a problem “when it seriously distorts an individual’s understanding.” Some bias indicators: extreme negative or positive reaction to people or events, paying little or no attention to undesired parts of a conversation, assuming one has understood what is being said even before the speaker ends his piece.

All senses have to be used simultaneously when listening. If there are ambiguous gestures, it would be good to ask before interpreting visual signals... thus, avoiding misunderstanding.

Understanding is also improved by paying attention to the sound and tone of a speaker’s voice. At times, there could be hidden messages that could be captured with careful listening – that is, when a speaker’s tone of voice does not match the actual spoken message, the listener could ask for a clarification which, however, requires tact but contributes to improved understanding.

Speaking. From the littlest social exchange to the most challenging business communication, speaking requires a well-ordered and logical presentation of thoughts. One technique is headlining – stating the point so listeners don’t end up asking “What’s your point?”

Another is pacing – the ability to stop talking and encourage listeners to comment to foster exchange. Some speakers tend to think that their turn is finished only when they have expressed all their ideas... quite exhausting for the listener.

Summarizing is another tool, albeit not always necessary for daily conversation. It helps ensure mutual understanding – that the things discussed are understood in the same sense by both parties.

Good luck! Hopefully, we could all be better listeners and speakers.


Ref. Successful Leadership (Carol O’Connor)