Sensitivity and Sensibility

“They talk animatedly for a long time without realizing they are becoming unbearable or that the other person is in a hurry and has been signalling – for the last ten minutes - to end the conversation or showing discreet signs that he is not interested in the topic...

Or they can say words they deem friendly, cordial and constructive... they don’t realize that due to the situation of the moment, they only manage to hurt the other person...

Or they interrupt the conversation, change the topic indiscriminately, make inopportune jokes or reveal confidences that disconcert others...

They desire to lift a person’s spirit through consoling, but what they say and how they say it produce the opposite effect...

They talk in an imperious or domineering tone to show that they are being determined and energetic persons. They don’t realize that every time they act in this way, they only alienate the others more.”

... Not out of ill will but probably due to lack of sensitivity to the feelings of others.

Affective messages to and from others are most often expressed not in a verbal way... but in non-verbal ways – say, gestures, facial expression, hand motions, tone of voice, posture, or even silence.

Hence, one has to develop the capacity to catch these messages before the fact and not after... Read between the lines...

When a person realizes that he/she usually recognizes the messages after the fact, the bottom line is ... Develop More Empathy. For this, one needs to use all her senses.

“The more we are capable to catch non-verbal messages, the more sociable we become. We will have facility for friendship" and love and concern for others.

Sensitivity to others’ feelings “is fundamental for a stable marriage, for educating children, for working in a team, for exercising authority, for having friends... in the end, for almost everything.”

Here’s the good news -- We can always learn and improve. We can be better.

(Note: This topic does not apply to rash judgment which is a totally different matter.)


Ref. Educating Emotions (Alfonso Aguilo)